Sharon &

Archive for July, 2009

They sent an army of camels….

by on Jul.23, 2009, under The Cats!

Andy Pandy and his mates!!!!

Andy Pandy and his mates!!!!

WOW…..we have just come close to having surrender..


We were just giving Ms Stephanosis (the ex porn star) a run for her money when Llubyloo turns up along with a gang of camels (Llubyloo2) boy did they charge at us…..umbrellas, gas masks, and our tent was beginning to buckle under the strain and smell of the attack


Then Llubyllo called a tea break…..PHEW….that was a close one….(I nearly had to leave my Bruv Mr Ceylon and run indoors) i have a weak tummy you see and certain smells….like babies nappies, human fart etc all make me heave…….and vomit!!!


Well…..we had better go and check Mr D…and perhaps feed him….MOL MOL


Please leave any comments…..esp if you like me and me bruv….!!!!

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and then came ahh_shazbot

by on Jul.23, 2009, under The Cats!

well….day two of the kidnapping….and we still have control of Mr D’s twitter account and this blog!!

This morning we were quite disgusted by the common behaviour of AndyPandy the camel…

Tonight we faced a onslaught of abuse from Stephanosis….she rallied round trying to build a force against us…..but we were not to be beaten, having slept off all the lager and vodka consumed with our girlfriends valberg1 & salandpepper, and managing to nick two frozen sausages/a piece of cake and some blood from one of the kid’s fingers who live with us! we were more than ready to take on the likes of Stephanosis and her wussy doggy Jessie

She tried desperately to come between us and our tortie feline girlfriend Medusaj…..but medusaj likes a bad boy….and calls us her rough cut diamonds….we feel kittens coming on!!!!!! MedusaJ knows which side her bread is buttered….so move over Stephanosis…go back to the nursing home and take ya tablets!!!!!! MedusaJ loves us and that’s how it’s gonna stay!!!!

Sarahgb and Justine_hughes have slightly different tactics!!!….one tactic was laughable - actually Mr Ceylon….(who is the muscle…whereas I am the brains) fell off his stool laughing and spilt the beer he was drinking all over himself!! They actually tried to frighten us with a “girlie” cat called “Poppy”

"poppy" MOL MOL!!!

"poppy" MOL MOL!!!

Poppy came via Justine_hughes and was laughed all the way back to her…..come on girlie’s can’t ya do better than that???? we could have eaten poppy for breakfast….MOL

Then came the second part of their tactics…..they have arranged a big party on Friday… Twitter world…now me and me Bruv, Mr Ceylon love a gathering…..bit of light music (esp from the car speakers….boom boom!!!), good food, lots of beer….and loads of Girlie’s!!!!  So as we “have” a twitter account that means we should be included….however it seems like it’s going to be a posh “do” and it’s “by invitation” only…….BORING!!! and apparently there is a vote going on as to whether we are invited or not…we have a couple of options open to us….

1. we act really nice (to everyone….including Duck face, Llubyloo, and Stephanosis) and try to get some manners from eBay or Amazon. then release Mr Darcy…dress up in our best furs and behave for the evening

2. or we just gatecrash….


and BTW we have got manners….why who supplied our girlfriend valberg1 with bog roll to wipe the snot from her nose….silly wench was crying cause we stood her up….we were actually busy chasing MedusaJ round the garden and sunbathing with Salandpepper & lady_twitster!!


Anyway….after all this the night kinda went down hill…

Stephanosis tried to get Jimmykingofcats on her side….what she does not realise is Jimmykingofcats is as rough and ready as us…..loves biting heads of mice….chewing baby birds and partying all night!!!!

Then Stephanosis tried to involve us in her porn ring….for those of you who are not aware… is actually Ms. Stephanosis who parades around twitter disguised as “Britney F*^#ed Vids” she gets all her sausages from her local butchers…then gets her husband to take suggestive photos of herself munching on the sausage!!!!…..we will say no more on the subject….but twitter and the local police are watching her and the amount of sausages consumed daily!!!!!

Then Duck face – lookski turned up….starting threatening us with photos… we know that most the pics of us nicking those cars last month have been distroyed…..also the ones of us Doggin…sorry catting down the lane have gone….the police still hold pics of the petrol station “incident” but that ain’t been proved yet… we were a tad concerned what “photo” duck face was threatening us with…

THEN….AHH_SHAZBOT TURNED UP….with the photos…

You know when a male cat is tortured with threats of having his “nuts” removed, it is enough to bring tears to your eyes….but when pictures of recipe books are published…and there is talk of rusty knives……

It really does not need a caption!!!

It really does not need a caption!!!

 It was enough for me and my Bruv to retreat for the night…..and go somewhere quiet, drink lager, eat crisps….and occasionally give those precious ginger nuts a lick!!!!


If we can keep Mr D quiet for just a few more hours we can get to the party and do some #Followfridays!!!!

Don’t let those bed bugs bite ya!!!


Mr Corky and his bruv…..Mr Ceylon…*snog*

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The Girl’s Party….

by on Jul.22, 2009, under The Family

Well…..each year I say it…..”I’m not doing this again next year!”

and I always do…..

Athena was 10 and Alethea was 7……They were both born on the 16th July…three years, three hours and 30 minutes apart….They always have a joint party…and it has been a “big one” since Athena started school 6 years ago


this year we converted a barn into a nightclub!!!

So on eBay I sat…..waiting for a Disco to come up. Andy used to DJ *cough* a few years ago *cough* and so he wanted “state of the art lights!” no problem I said….I had not got a clue….

Anyway to cut a long story short….I found a complete set up…..”a laser Disco” sounded just right….the guy wanted to get rid…he had used it once and it was now sitting in his two bed-roomed flat….it was mine, picked up, paid for within 24 hours….I love eBay!!!!

I set about creating the invites…..the girls wanted the whole class to come….that’s Year1, year2 and year5,year6 totalling roughly 50 kids….Not a problem…last year we ended up with over 60 kids….

Anyway by the time we had finished discussing the party….somehow Andy and I had managed to include lots of the kids friends parents (who we are friends with) so with a list of over 100 coming….we set about converting the barn into a nightclub!!!

It took three days….blacking the windows….lighting the stairs….fixing the lasers….creating a chill out room for the parents and one for the kids…by Saturday it was just the finishing touches…the marquee went up….bar was set up….and I managed to knock myself out!!!

yep….two hours before the party started….a table toppled over and cracked me on the head….now I’ve given birth to four children, you “mums” out there (and you dads who have witnessed it) will agree …..”we know what pain is”…but boy the pain in my head was incredible!!

As I lay flat out on the floor….I was aware of Andy talking to me, the kids crying….but I couldn’t speak!! I couldn’t even move!!!

Hospital or Party…..come on… which one would you choose?

Guests started to arrive at 6….I tried to concentrate on just standing straight….I am sure some have gone away convinced I had been drinking heavily (believe me I did not touch a drop….didn’t need to…I already felt very tipsy!!!!) ….the pre-party BBQ went down well…although I am sure I served some kids a sausage when they asked for burger!!!

The nightclub was officially opened at about 7.30…all the kids & adults had been given Glow bracelets and necklaces ….It was just a great evening….I don’t think I have ever enjoyed “a kids party” so much (maybe a knock to the head had something to do with that!!!) by 9 the dance floor was packed….even the adults were bopping (which of course led to the slapping on of some classic 80′s tracks)….Just brill!!!

The smaller kids started to leave around 9.30…with the older kids about an hour later…which left the our friends (and their kids) the party slowly died about midnight….which just left a big mess…and a big headache!!!

The texts and messages (and flowers) that I received on Sunday and Monday have convinced me (nearly) that perhaps I will do another Birthday party next year…..maybe

and….if you are reading this….and have a “kids party” to organise….do a disco….invite adults….and just party!!!

Here’s looking forward to July next year….from a concussed mum….X

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by on Jul.22, 2009, under The Cats!

We have just encountered the most disgusting thing…..ever!!!

Even worse than Stephanosis’s doggie Jessie…..or Duck Face Lookski…..or watching our girlfriend Valberg1 throw up so she can drink more pints of vodka!!!!

Andy Pandy

Andy Pandy

A camel called AndyPandy…..he belongs to Llubyloo and twitters under the name of Llubyloo2…..he is disgusting…..he has bad breath, stinks and spits green/yellow saliva (at least that what we think it was!!!)

Urged on by his mistress (llubyloo) and alongside his friend Garcia (who he found on eBay!!) they formed a rather nasty attack….I’m afraid we had to retreat….The smell of their spit was making us gag….it was disgusting!!!

Has put us off going for a day trip to the Zoo!!!!


Those camels…..honk!!!

We think we may have a new girlfriend…called Flicka47 but she lives across the big sea…so too far to travel….

and as for Lindseythefirst…well we know what delinquent means now!!….cheeky…we will set our girlfriends salandpepper & valberg1 on to you!!!


Well…..we are going to sneak back onto Twitter now…..Stephanosis, Llubyloo, duck face and her birdie mates….are no doubt hatching a plan to rescue Mr D……”WHATEVER!!!!”

catch ya later……MR CORKY & MR CEYLON

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Mr Darcy….Safe & not hurt

by on Jul.21, 2009, under The Cats!

Mr D on a car seat..guarded by Mr Corky

Mr D on a car seat..guarded by Mr Corky

After this picture was taken Mr D was whipped back into the car and driven to somewhere….(the sign was in welsh…we couldn’t read it)
We Shall return Mr D on Friday….after we have done the #FollowFriday shoutouts we have a few debts to settle……particularly with Stephanosis, Duck-face (lookski), Ahh_shazbot, Sarahgb, Twinkle47, HiToYou,Llubyloo…not to mention hilsofhove, tom01cat, lindseythefirst,justine_hughes & StefHoare
and the very rude AmMarvellous (who we aint scared of!!!)
We shall be mentioning our girlie’s….who have supported us…..Valberg1, LadyTwitster, Salandpepper,MedjusaJ….
and our drinking friend SirFudgeEsq
GOODNIGHT all…..hope the bugs in ya beds don’t bite too hard……..
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Mr Darcy has been kidnapped!!!

by on Jul.21, 2009, under The Cats!

Yeah….that’s right!!!

By us…..and we are Mr Ceylon and Mr Corky!!!

Mr Corky (left) and Mr Ceylon (right)

Mr Corky (left) and Mr Ceylon (right)


Yesterday at around 11.59 we gave Mr Darcy an overdose of catnip….he went mental…chasing his own tail, climbing the curtains…etc while we stood back and drank lager, ate all the crisps in the house and waited……

He eventually fell asleep, that’s when I (Mr Corky) jumped on him grabbed him by his neck, tied his paws together and dragged him to our hideout….

Mr Corky grabbing Mr D's neck!!!

Mr Corky grabbing Mr D's neck!!!


Mr D having his paws tied.....

Mr D having his paws tied.....

Last knot tied up.....

Last knot tied up.....

Mr D....drugged on catnip!!!!

Mr D....drugged on catnip!!!!

 So that was how we captured the little pip-squeak…..

now to take over his twitter account and his blog!!!!!

Now Mr Corky and I are very good looking cats….(we think so anyway) OK we have the “ginger gene” but that makes us more lovable….don’t it? Well the ladies on Mr Darcy’s Twitter account went mental……who would you choose a silly, squeaky boring ole moggie, who thinks he is “the next best thing to someone called Philip Schofield” or us two?  


It caused a little bit of chaos….. Mr Darcy’s lovely Stephanosis (and her beautiful dog, Jess) were amongst the first to lead the attack…she gathered momentum aided by two Girlie Birds called Lookski and ahh_shazbot…..joined by Mr D’s friend Llubyloo they formed a rather quick attack on us….launching scud missiles, and trying to creep up on us with their trainers on……even tried to put pepper in the missiles….

BUT…..we love a game of ball……so we caught the missiles in our teeth!!! (yes we are that hard!!!) while drinking from a beer glass!!! we also had our girlfriend valberg1  (just note: we actually share her) ….she is a classy chick who likes nothing more than a night out with us blokes drinking pints of vodka & bicardi, (with an umbrella in)  a bag of chips and a snog at the end of the evening!!! she is a tad expensive mind… we intend to smuggle bottles down the pub next time!!!

We took a barrage of abuse from these ladies…..but we managed to fend them off……we had threats from Twinkle47 with a knife….claiming to cut away our prized possessions (she even eats ginger nuts for her breakfast!!!) during the height of the battle we thought we may have to give in to the sheer thought…..nuts dipped in hot tea……..OUCH!!!!!

We even fended off implies of “sending the muscle round” from sarahgb….suggestions that we were “Mitchell Brothers in fur” from hilsofhove

Then they tried to trick us……but “we are far too young and clever!!!!”

they pretended to befriend us lead by Stephanosis and her dog Jessie saying nice things to us….It didn’t work…

Jess...Mr Darcy's Fav Dog

Jess...Mr Darcy's Fav Dog

We are working on Mr D’s best friend SirFudgeEsq

SirFudgeEsq...Mr D's clever friend

SirFudgeEsq...Mr D's clever friend


he is very clever….we know we have to be careful with him…but with his brains and our muscle we think we could rule the world…. We are having a drink with him later….he is a scotch drinker….so we will just mix it with our lager….just to be sociable you must understand…..


Then this morning….we were hit by Salandpepper, Lindseythefirst and even Ahh_shazbot (again) all giving us grief….when all we want to do is have fun!!….OK at Mr Darcy’s expense….. these “ladies” even got dogs onto us…..but we laughed so much when we saw the picture, we couldn’t type for a few minutes….and Mr Corky fell off the stool!!!  there they stood…bless them two golden coloured Mummy’s boys, called Teddy and Duffy…with two soft toys in their mouths……

Sorry….couldn’t type again for laughing….

Although we feel that Salandpepper, along with LadyTwitster may enjoy having fun sooooo much that they will join us….we will work on these two pretty ladies….throw them a couple of packets of nuts and a pint….sit them up a corner until they are ready to be walked home…LadyTwitster is very taken with Mr D’s charm….so we are going to buy a “charm the chicks” book off eBay later and then work our magic on them…..:O)

 We are also going to convince his good friend MedusaJ to come over onto our side….she’s a good looking tortie…who we reckon would love a good chase round the garden!!!!

There is however….one lady who scares us….(well a little bit) and that is AmMarvellous…..boy she can whip her tongue round those words and hit you where the sun don’t shine!!!!….she called us mingers, scummy cat-nappers….even suggested we don’t exist? She is sooooo tough we actually think we may be falling in love with her……which would never do, cause tough tomcats like us don’t fall in love…..we just drink lager, father kittens and sit on the fence all day (non-politically speaking of course) So we shall try to be nice to her….might even try a passage from our new book on  her……

Many are asking…..Why? and what do you want?

Answer…. just fun….your darling Mr D will be returned….we are hoping that his followers will drop leaving him just the “Britney’s” and scum of twitter world!!!!

Well….we must go now…..We can hear the cries of a certain young gentleman….and if we are not careful the servants will hear him….already there is talk of him missing…..but we have hired a fancy dress costume and take it in turns to dress up as Mr D…..

Clever eh?

Take care and have a thought for poor Mr D……MOL MOL MOL MOL!!!!!!

Please feel free to leave messages of support (for US!!!)


Love & Snogs…. Mr Corky & Mr Ceylon…*X*

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Mr D falling…Sorry jumping out of the window!!

by on Jul.09, 2009, under The Cats!

OK…before I start can just say….I DID jump and did NOT fall!!
Let me set the scene…there was a group of school children, including one of the off-spring (Alethea) sitting in my garden…drawing pictures of my house….
The noise had woke me up…so I jumped onto the window to see what all the fuss…in a relatively quiet village was all about. That’s when I spotted my two naughty brothers…Mr Ceylon and Mr Corky gamboling around and having a huge amount of attention from the children…so I leaned further out of the window (in order to gain a little attention of my own)…..
anyway…I decided that to outdo my Brothers the only option was to jump!!
….so I did
BOY did those children scream!!! 
but who do they talk about now….Mr Ceylon dive bombing them from a tree?  Mr Corky running 100 miles an hour past them?
It’s Mr Darcy who fell….I mean jumped from the window…!!
Some still walk past (on a daily basis) and shout n cheer for me… least I think they are cheering for me…;o~)
Me just landing...gracefully  of course!!

Me just landing...gracefully of course!!

I'm going to do it!!!!

I'm going to do it!!!!

As you can see it was all performed with grace and beauty….A cat falling would not have executed the jump with such style!!! Don’t you think?
your comments would be greatly appreciated…..
Love Mr D….*X*
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Wedding in Scotland

by on Jul.02, 2009, under The Family

Well we are back from my brother’s wedding in Scotland. He married Emma in a the beautiful Castle called Comlongon. The venue was completely breath taking, the bride looked stunning and the groom (my Brother….scrubbed up OK!!!) the whole event was something I am sure they will always remember….

My Brother Mark & his bride Emma

My Brother Mark & his bride Emma

I was extremely proud of my five kids who for three days were probably very bored….but behaved impeccably….and looked absolutely lovely (biased I know!!!)


Kal got to try some food he has never had before….Pate, sorbet, Haggis and slabs of butter!!!!

Kal...looking clean for once!!!

Kal...looking clean for once!!!


Shae got to dress up in pink and parade round like a king of his castle

Shae...posing for pics!!

Shae...posing for pics!!

Alethea got to be a princess in a castle (and had a sneaky glass of wine at the meal…a first for her)

Alethea before the chocolate!!!

Alethea before the chocolate!!!

Athena got to dress and behave like a grown up…staying up late (and shared a room with Sophie…very girlie and mature!!)

Athena & Shae on the catwalk!!!

Athena & Shae on the catwalk!!!

and Sophie…got to dress up….and dress up and dress up….oh and show her fake tan off!!!

Sophie still smiling when asleep!!!

Sophie still smiling when asleep!!!


Our first day/night was spent in Annan, in a place called Queensbury Arms Hotel….I have to say if you ever get invited to a wedding at Gretna or Annan….this is the place to stay….it was clean, tidy, food fantastic (better than the Castle) but above all the staff were absolutely fantastic. My kids were treated with so much care and attention it completely threw me….having checked out of our rooms at 10:30 and as we realised we could not go to check in at the castle until 12.30 (bearing in mind there were over 30 of us) the hotel staff went out of there way to accommodate  us (even offering us our rooms back for a further two hours free!!!) they fed us our dinner and waved us off at 12……

QUEENSBURY ARMS HOTEL…..if you are going to get married or just want somewhere to stay just over the border……this is the place (especially if you have children)

and onto the castle…..a rather cold receptionist checked us in…..before our cases had been dumped into the rooms we were called from reception….”we need your orders for the wedding meal!!!”  OK one very rushed look at the menu and our choices were made….not a problem….bit like MacDonald’s but hey…..ho  sort of…


rooms opened at 12.40…..called to reception at 2.00  for a wedding at 3….that gave me 1 hour and 20 minutes to get ready, along with bathing and getting three young children done….(oh Andy needed a shower and shave as well)

ever felt hotter when you have showered than you did before????

but by 2 o’clock we all descended the great stairs….only to sit and wait….

and sit….

and wait…..

and wait….

All dressed up...and nowhere to seemed

All dressed up...and nowhere to seemed

tum te tum…. now getting a little hot…and very bored (and the kids are worse)….it’s gone three and we are all summoned.

the piper walked us round the castle and into a small room which lead to some beautiful worn steps that curved and were so steep I felt dizzy just looking at them….OK each grab a kid and lets go…one step, two step, three step four…

by the time we got to the top each of us had been showered again…(this time from the sweat from the person in front!!!!) yuck

and again we waited

and waited….OK not so long this time…before we thankfully heard the sweet sounds of the pipes….announcing the arrival of the bride


The ceremony went according to plan….apart from all the ladies in heels over an inch getting stuck in the gravel!!! (very funny…well I thought it was!!) oh and the bride stumbling over her words…then announcing she was actually “thinking of something else” ……!!!! (makes you wonder whatever could a girl be thinking of while saying her vows….when I asked Sophie she said she would probably be distracted with texting ……I’ll say no more)

onto the photos….all went well….apart from my boys plus a little friend discovered some lovely wet smooth concrete …and proceeded to make their mark in Comlongon Castle history….

Shae, Kal and a friend in concrete history

Shae, Kal and a friend in concrete history

Then came the wedding meal…

with everyone seated….there were  three load bangs from the master of the ceremonies….followed by silence….then three almighty bangs which even made the master of ceremonies jump out of his skin………..

…………..A spirit of Comlongon Castle truly peeved at the noise and disruption?

…………..A ghostly knight in shining armour in search of his true love banging down the huge castle door….?


…….NO our Kal had picked up a heavy spoon and copied the master of ceremonies….whacking the table three times!!  21 months old and trying out his first job as a master of ceremonies….it got him a few laughs (and eased the rather nervous atmosphere!!)

He then preceded (guided I may add by his future Auntie ‘liz) to blow out the candles on the table!!! it’s a good job we were surrounded by people with a sense of humour…..

The evening was spent in the beautiful Castle gardens…plenty to drink and the kids free to play…

Girl's just wanna have fun!!

Girl's just wanna have fun!!

The wedding went well….Mark and Emma had a wonderful day (and are now in Mexico…swimming with Dolphins) they looked happy and that’s all that matters…..and I’ll leave it there with a toast to the bride & groom…

Please raise your glass...

Please raise your glass...












So our weekend away in Scotland was fantastic… and Congratulations to my Brother and his new wife Emma….*X*

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Twitter…and my new friends

by on Jul.02, 2009, under The Cats!

Well after only a few weeks of twittering I have found some wonderful (and also some strange friends!!) both peeps and anipals….for those of you who do not use twitter….peeps are people/human form and anipals are furry animal friends.

Twitter is a strange place….and for the faint hearted not recommended.(try twittering fourteen peeps at one go…my little paws were flying across the keyboard!!!  It is light fun…but also brings people together from all walks of life with similar (and very often different interests)

I have enjoyed tweeting to peeps and anipals from all over the world (mind blowing really for a cat of only eight and half months old!!!!!!) and I have formed special relationships with three anipals in particular..

Jess…my beautiful, lovely, gorgeous doggy friend who lives in Somerset…we met through her mummy peep, stephanosis (Marjorie) who is one of the kindest, caring tweeters around. Jess and I share a passion for all anipals (although I have been known to chase the odd fly or 2,000 and the goldfish sometimes drive me to distraction!!) Jess lives near a big wood, where she often goes walks with her mummy peep…the bunnies do not have to hide from sweet Jess…..

and then there is AndyPandy my friend the camel…he is VERY handsome and lives Shropshire (just across the border from me) with his witty, genealogy loving mummy peep called Llubyloo (Lluby)…. Andypandy is great fun to be with, although NEVER try to drink him under the table….I guarantee you will lose!!! He is looking for a (camel) friend at the moment…he has searched on eBay and even dabbled on Amazon…but alas no camels to be found. So if you are a camel (or perhaps even like to pretend you are a camel?) then please leave your contact details and I will pass them onto my friend…..

and finally YoungMrFudge a beautiful (and very intelligent cat from Australia) who would like world domination (for cats) and although I am opposed to violence have put myself forward for desk work in his mission!! Mr Fudge’s mummy peep is a caring lady who is studying at the moment….which allows Mr Fudge plenty of time to access her computer! NEVER mention Birdbaths in his presence….the poor chap had a nasty experience (to which I still smile about!)

We are soon to go on a big adventure together…watch this space


Regards Mr D

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